Choosing the right Bridesmaids

Choosing the best people for the job when it comes to your wedding day doesn’t end with which suppliers are the best fit. You need to give just as much thought to which of your nearest and dearest you want by your side on your special day.

Some couples have to deal very sensitively with this part of planning a wedding. Do you have half a dozen good girlfriends or 5 sisters. If you do, and you don’t want to have 11 bridesmaids, then you will need to have some difficult conversations.


Where to begin:

You may need to act quickly. As soon as you announce your engagement, your friends may leap into action and almost start planning their own involvement in your wedding before you really have the chance to think about what you want.

If you are one of the lucky ones, you may know exactly who you want by your side but if you don’t, you need to think about what you’re asking them to do and actually how good will they be at doing it. It’s not just about buying them a dress and letting them stand proudly by your side, if you want your wedding day to go without a hitch then you will be reliant on them to play their part.

What are you actually asking:

You would normally choose a good friend or selection of good friends. Maybe even female members of your family if you have a particularly good relationship with them, but how effective would they be if you asked them to undertake one or all of the duties listed below.

First and foremost, they need to show an interest in your wedding and your plans, they need to be respectful, diplomatic in the way they share their own opinion and able to put what they think a great wedding day is to one side. None of us are the same and we all have different ideas on what will work well, look good and be enjoyable. Your bridesmaids need to be happy for you whatever you choose and put your interests first.

You will be asking them to help you or to take care of important parts of your wedding day so make sure they are responsible and trustworthy otherwise you will worry and end up doing those tasks yourself which defeats the purpose.

This may all sound very serious but being a bridesmaid is such a fun job and most people feel privileged to be asked. If you pick the right people you will laugh, cry and find your friendship becomes even stronger than it was when you began.

During the planning stages:

Plan the Hen party – It will be clear how well your chosen bridesmaids know you when they plan this for you. Especially if you don’t have an input. If they know you well enough, they will plan the perfect occasion for you whether that is small and subtle, or a big fancy blow out.


Help with dress shopping – It is so important that you bring the right people with you to choose a dress, if you fall in love with something and they don’t show you the support you are looking for then you could end up not committing and going with something that you wouldn’t have chosen if you had been on your own. There is a very fine line between being honest and being supportive. The right person will get this spot on.

DIY wedding help – If you are planning to make things for your wedding yourself. Your bridesmaids will hopefully ensure they have time to help you, whether that is floral displays, favours or table décor.

Help with invites and RSVPS – If you are making your own invitations then 2 pairs of hands may be better than 1. Invitation making can take time, by asking for help you can half the time it takes whilst having a fun day spent with your bestie/besties. You may also ask them to chase up certain guests who haven’t sent their RSVP back in time. If you are busy and have other things to be doing, this could be a massive help.

Attend meetings at the venue or visit wedding fairs – You can, but don’t have to, take your bridal party to your wedding venue to show them around and give them a feel for what your wedding will look like before the day itself. You may also want to take them to wedding fairs to look at various items and help you find the right suppliers.


On the wedding day: