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One for the men

We constantly read blogs about what dress to pick and how to choose suppliers but maybe you feel these aren’t really topics for you, well no need to panic. Today’s helpful hints and tips are aimed at you lucky grooms.

Groom thanking an Usher

Have you started thinking about your speeches yet? Has it been playing on your mind since the moment you popped the question. Public speaking is not for everyone neither are public shows of affection. I must say as a bride myself I was rather grateful for not having to take part in this tradition and could see the fear building in my groom and fathers eyes as the day went on. The closer the speeches got the quicker the drinks disappeared.

If you’re struggling with where to start why not consider this?


  • Mention how proud you are of your daughter

  • Welcome your new son in law to the family

  • Welcome the groom’s family to yours

  • Impart advice for a happy and lasting marriage (this is sometimes difficult if the father of the bride is divorced or separated however with plenty of life experience you’ll know exactly what to say to create a meaningful and loving close to the speech)

  • Toast the bride and groom


  • Give thanks to the toast

  • Thank the bride’s family for giving you their daughters hand, if you are giving gifts to family members this is a great time to do it. Especially if you’re nervous it will give you time to compose yourself

  • Give thanks to your own parents for their help in your life. Again, a time to give gifts

  • Most importantly thank your wife for being the wonderful person she is and for agreeing to marry you.

  • Finally thank the bridal party and best man, give out the gifts if applicable

  • Toast to your bridesmaids


  • Give thanks for the toast and gift giving on behalf of the whole bridal party

  • Describe how lucky the groom is to have picked such a beautiful bride and say what a good person the groom is.

  • This is the opportunity to include humorous or embarrassing stories of the groom. However, there is ever increasing pressure to make a best man’s speech unique and one to match that of a professional comedian. Don’t feel like this is a must. If you are not naturally confident and speaking in public or particularly good and telling jokes. STAY AWAY, it will back fire and you’ll spend the rest of the night regretting that you tried. Stick with what you’re good at. You were picked as a best man because you are the grooms closest friend and confidant, not for your comedic skills.

  • Read out cards from absent family members and friends

  • Propose a toast to absent friends

  • Restart the proceedings

Groomsmen gathering before the ceremony

Hints and Tips

Keep each speech short and sweet, no one wants to be sat endlessly listening to the whole room be thanked individually. All in all, the speeches shouldn’t go on longer than 20 minutes and that includes any gift giving you wish to do. Bare in mind gift giving can take 10 minutes on its own so try and group them together where you can.

If you're not confident at speaking out, keep it short. Your guests will be grateful for a 2 minute address from the heart rather than a 10 minute babble that they'll lose interest in.

Only toast what is detailed above. Guests will soon tire of standing then sitting and the sentiment of the toast will be lost.

Prepare your speech thoroughly. Practice it, on your own and in front of someone. Have queue cards if you feel you'll need them. Rabbit in headlights isn't a good look. Speak loudly and slowly. Stop to take a breath between each sentence. Fear and nerves have a tendency to speed us up when we speak. Stop take a deep breath think about what you're saying next and carry on.

Ways to relive the pressure of speeches

If you feel the fear of speeches are going to put a negative spin on your wedding either don’t do them, they’re not a must just a tradition. Or simply do them earlier on in the day. Traditionally they are done after the wedding breakfast when your guests have been served coffee. This does not have to be the case. I have arragned a variety of speech times during weddings I have been involved in. The most alternative to tradition is when your guests first sit down for dinner, before the starter is served. Alternatively, straight after the ceremony in the bar or the area in which your guests are congregating for their welcome drinks. This way the speeches are done and you can get on with enjoying the rest of your day.

Bridesmaid receiving gift from the gore

Whatever you decide to do with speeches please don’t let it be a worry. There’s plenty of help around on the wording to use and hopefully this blog will give you an idea on where to start. Assisting with speech writing is one of the tasks I offer within my full wedding planning package as well as helping you arrange the best time in the day to conduct the traditions you wish to include.

If you are starting to worry about incorporating not only speeches but also other activities into your day please contact me and I’ll happily discuss my services with you.

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